That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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