I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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