some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize