i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize