i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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