so that wasnt chicken after all
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
