I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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