There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
