thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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