do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
