hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
