hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
whose ass print is on the piano?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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