Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Just cropdusted the office
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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