She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
