So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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