I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
