Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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