Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
