drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
