she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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