We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
