and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
