He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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