He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
We left an ass print on the piano.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
