break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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