i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
