I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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