I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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