Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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