I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
