How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
