its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
