My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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