WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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