she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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