Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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