True but thats because hes a fetus.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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