U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
