and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
