If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
