Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
