My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
