The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
she pinky promised me she was 18
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
