high people should be assigned attendants
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
