Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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