nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I have fence marks all over my body
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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