I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He better not be in your backpack
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
