i just google imaged poop.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
