when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
