what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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