do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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