I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
