I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
