She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
