there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
