didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
