We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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