My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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