I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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