can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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