i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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