Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize