I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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